Steal The Show: Succeeding in High-Stakes Situations

Chris Curran: Growth Igniters Radio episode 67 − Steal The Show: Succeeding in High-Stakes Situations. This episode is brought to you by Business Advancement Incorporated, enabling successful leaders and companies to accelerate to their next level of success. On the web at www.BusinessAdvance.com. And now, here’s Pam and Scott.

Pam Harper: Thanks, Chris. I’m Pam Harper, Founding Partner and CEO of Business Advancement Incorporated, and right across from me is my business partner and husband, Scott Harper. Hi, Scott.

Scott Harper: Hi, Pam. As always, it’s wonderful to join you for another episode of Growth Igniters Radio. As you know, our purpose is to spark new insights, inspiration and immediately useful ideas for visionary leaders like you, and your company, to accelerate to your next level of success. So Pam, what’s our focus for today?

Pam Harper: Succeeding in high-stakes situations.

Scott Harper: High-stakes…

Pam Harper: Let’s think about how many of these a typical leader would face.

Scott Harper: Gosh. Everyday is a high-stakes situation. You have presentations for boards, employees, investors, media. You have deals, interviews, negotiations…

Pam Harper: And more, and more.

Scott Harper: Oh yeah.

Pam Harper: At the heart of all of these is our ability to perform, not just to speak, so that we really connect with others. Now, our regular listeners will recall that in episode 58, which is our most recent book pairing episode, we highly recommend a book called Steal the Show by Michael Port. We’re delighted to have Michael joining us today.

Now, in all transparency, I was actually at Michael’s Heroic Public Speaking Live conference back in February. It was so impactful for me so I’m so excited to have him here.

Just a bit about Michael’s background. He’s written six books including Book Yourself Solid and Steal the Show, which according to the former president of Starbucks, “might be the most unique and practical book ever written on the topic of public speaking.” His books have been on the bestseller list of New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today and Publisher’s Weekly, and have been selected by Amazon and 800-CEO-READ as best books of the year. He was also once a professional actor, having received his MFA from New York University’s Graduate Acting Program. Guest starring on shows like Sex and the City and Law and Order and in films like The Pelican Brief and Down to Earth.

These days, Michael can be seen on MSNBC, CNBC and PBS as an on air expert in communication and business development. He’s also the host of the most popular podcast on public speaking and performance called Steal the Show with Michael Port. Michael, welcome to Growth Igniters Radio.

Michael Port: Thank you so much.

Pam Harper: We’re so glad that you’re here and you’re going to tell us a little bit about how you got to this level of success, because it’s really a fascinating story.

Michael Port: Well, I have no idea. [laughter]

Michael Port: When I hear that bio, I really don’t believe it. I was a solid B-minus student who was going to be an actor. That’s what I thought I was going to do. When I got out into the world, I had a modicum of success − a little bit. I was working and I was paying the bills, but I was way too immature to wait. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it, and I wanted it fast. That’s not necessarily how that business works. The amount of rejection was just extraordinary. I just don’t think at that time I could handle it, so I left.

So I went into business. I talked my way into a job for which I was completely unqualified. I told them I was unqualified, but I made my case for why they should give me a shot, and they did. I moved up very quickly, in large part because I had no idea how they did things. I just came up with ways for doing things that happened to work quite well − things that they didn’t see because they’ve been immersed in that environment for so long.

Then after about five or six years, I thought, “Maybe I’ll go out and consult in this industry.” I did, of course. If you want to be a consultant and have some success, you are meant to write books. So I thought, “Let me see if I can write books.” I didn’t like writing even a five-paragraph essay when I was in school, so I didn’t have a lot of faith at that time. But once I stopped writing the way they taught us to write in school, and started writing the way that I speak, everything changed because communication is a natural strength for me. It’s been a roller coaster ride ever since.

Pam Harper: Wow. How did all of that lead to Steal the Show?

Michael Port: For 13 years, I was focused on writing about marketing and business development because that was the experience that I had after I left acting. When I looked back, so much of what I’ve been able to accomplish over the years has been a direct result of my training as an actor at the grad program at NYU, because life in large part is based on how well you perform during life’s high-stakes situations. If you fall flat during those situations, then not a lot happens. If you can shine when the spotlight is on you, well, then I think you can do big things. So much of what the actor knows about performance can apply to any individual.

One of the first principles of learning how to perform during those high-stakes situations is learning how you play the right role in those situations − the role that is called for at that particular moment − because we can play many different roles authentically. We want to figure out how do we emphasize the effective parts of our personality and de-emphasize the other parts of our personality that are not as effective. We emphasize the parts that are effective in that given situation and de-emphasize the parts that are not, depending on what the situation calls for either in professional or personal circumstances.

So for example, I’m sick right now. I was really sick yesterday. The last thing I want to do is work today. Getting onto a podcast is not the first thing I thought about, “I want to get up and be in a podcast.”

I’m telling you this because if I was true to self and demonstrated how I actually felt, I might be like, “Yeah, what’s up?”

Scott Harper: We’ll send you some chicken soup.

Michael Port: Right. Yeah, I know. “I’m really sick right now. I’ll be here, but whatever…” That’s not what the situation calls for. Am I being inauthentic by bringing my best self to this? No. Am I playing the role that I need to play in this situation to be in service of the host of the show and the guest of the show? Absolutely. We act all the time, but we use authenticity to say, “Well, no. I’m just going to tell you how I really feel not caring about your feelings because I am telling you my truth.”

Pam Harper: Well, it goes to “the show must go on.”

Michael Port: Yes, it does.

Pam Harper: We can relate to that because actually, Scott and I met performing comic opera many years ago now.

Michael Port: Comic opera?

Pam Harper: Comic opera.

Michael Port: That is brilliant.

Pam Harper: We understand about the show going on. It really resonates with us. Taking it into this kind of a situation though − the business situation is a very unique, very cool model. In fact, one of the things that I found interesting in the book is you actually say, “Acting is not a metaphor, but rather a model that you can apply to both life and work.” Tell us a little bit about that.

Michael Port: Sure. I know this idea may seem contradictory. If you stay rigidly fixed on what you see as your true self, then you might not realize that you can adopt these different styles of behavior and still be authentic. In fact, I think there are more and more professionals bringing this idea into business. I don’t think I’m the only one. I’ve been talking about it for a long time, but a friend of mine named Mark Bowden, who’s a body language expert, has been talking about this. There’s a big article in the Harvard Business Review in 2015 about this concept specifically, about how if we want to move into leadership positions, we’re going to need to adopt different styles of behavior to fit these different roles. If we’re too rigid, if we have a rigid concept of ourselves, that becomes, I think, an anchor that keeps us stuck, keeps us fixed to where we are.

Let’s just take a personal situation, because it’s an easy example. If you are meeting your future in-laws for the first time, you’re on your best behavior. What the actor does to create a character is choose goals for that character − objectives. They look at a script and they say, “What is this character trying to achieve? Okay. They want to be loved. Great. That’s the objective of this character has in that particular scene with that other character.”

Then the actor decides what they’re going to do to achieve that objective. “Well, what tactics will I use? What will be my strategy?” In a play, or a film, or a TV show, hopefully, the writing is really good, and it gives that actor a lot of material to use − obstacles to overcome, to fight through − lots of different tactics to try.

In our life, we write the script. We write the story that is our future. We can write the story to be very bland and uninteresting if we don’t take chances, if we don’t raise the stakes, if we don’t go after our objectives with abandon. We try lots of different tactics. If you’re going to meet your future in-laws for the first time, well, your objective may be I really want them to approve of me. Nothing wrong with that.

Pam Harper: No.

Michael Port: But I don’t think we should spend our life trying to go for approval. I think we should focus on results, but that does make sense to me. The first time I met my in-laws, I wanted them to approve of me. What am I going to do? I’m going to think about, “Well, what kind … ” My father-in-law is a wine fanatic so I’m thinking, “Well, what kind of wine would really impress him? What would he love?” Well, that’s acting. That’s a choice. Anytime you make a choice in order to affect somebody else and achieve an objective for yourself, as a result, you are an actor, because that’s what actors do.

Pam Harper: Yes, I would definitely agree with that. It’s really interesting that you’re talking about this in terms of performance, because actually those who know us know that one of the things that I refer to myself as is a business performance expert, a strategic growth expert − but business performance, and performance is what it’s all about, what’s happening.

We’re going to take a quick break right now. When we come back, we’ll speak more with Michael Port, author of Steal the Show, about using the model of acting to perform at our best, especially in the high-stakes situations. Stay with us.

Scott Harper: You are listening to Growth Igniters Radio with Pam Harper and Scott Harper, brought to you by Business Advancement Incorporated. On the web at www.BusinessAdvance.com. We enable visionary leaders and their companies to accelerate to their next level of growth and success. Just a reminder − check out our show notes at GrowthIgnitersRadio.com, episode 67. You can download resources for today’s conversation, including Michael Port’s bio. You can also share on social media so more people can find us, and you can sign up for our weekly alert of upcoming episodes, so you’ll always be up-to-date.

Pam Harper: Welcome back to Growth Igniters Radio with Pam Harper, that’s me, and Scott Harper. Scott and I are talking today with Michael Port, author of Steal the Show, about using the model of acting to perform at our best and especially under high-stakes situations. Michael, tell us how we can find your books and your podcast. You offer so much.

Michael Port: Well, thanks. Yes. Steal the Show, the podcast, of course − just go to iTunes and search for Steal the Show with Michael Port. The book is anywhere books are sold. In fact, I don’t know when this episode is coming out, but if it does come out in the month of May, the Kindle edition of Steal the Show is on a monthly Amazon special for $2.99. They do that with a few books each month. They chose mine, so I’m pretty excited about that.

Pam Harper: That is exciting, yes.

Scott Harper: It’s a steal.

Michael Port: It’s a steal − go steal Steal the Show. Of course, for public speaking training, go to www.heroicpublicspeaking.com.

Pam Harper: That’s excellent. Now, let’s go back to our conversation. We were getting started talking about using the concept of the model of acting to perform at our best. What can leaders learn specifically? Let’s talk a little more about that.

Michael Port: Let’s just look at the techniques that an actor learns to control their emotions and their body. Often when you’re in a high-stake situation, you get anxious. When you get anxious, you tend to hold your breath. When you hold your breath, you tend to pass out. Now, you may not hold it to such an extent that you pass out, but what you do is you might hold it which means you’re not “on” your breath. When you’re not on your breath, you don’t seem powerful. You don’t have a lot of gravitas if you’re *talking like this* and you’re having trouble getting air. It sounds like you’re a little bit nervous. Then people get uncomfortable when they hear that. So, [the question is,] can you control your breathing?

Pam Harper: This is really hard. Think about the high-stakes situations. You’re really, really, say, immersed in a very special negotiation.

Michael Port: That’s right. Can you control your body and can you choose what you want people to see and to feel based on how you use your body? I just have to say, again − because it’s easy to brush this off and say, “That’s not authentic; that’s manipulative.” Aren’t we doing this all the time? Can’t we do this for good as oppose to evil? I’m not suggesting someone should be a conman. That’s not even close to what I’m suggesting here. What we’re doing is we are trying to produce the kind of results we want. Hopefully, the kind of results that we want are also the kind of results that other people want. If I’m in a negotiation, I’m trying to figure out, “well, how does each person walk away from this table feeling like they got the better end of the deal?” That’s the ultimate result that I’m trying to produce.

If I’m sitting at that table and I’m crossing my arms in front of me, and I’m all hunched up, and tight, and fidgety at the same time, and then crossing my legs and uncrossing my legs, and crossing my legs and uncrossing my legs, well, I’m not going to make anybody else at that table comfortable.

Pam Harper: True.

Michael Port: They’re also going to feel like, “Well, this guy doesn’t feel very confident about his position.” Instead, what I know I can do and what our students are able to do once they do this work, is have complete control over their body, over their breath and they know how they influence other people by the way they use their body. For example, one of the things that people often do when they give speeches or presentations is point, do a lot of pointing. Now, this may seem small but, in fact, if you experience it, it is significant. Instead of pointing −

Scott Harper: Bill Clinton was a great pointer.

Michael Port: He’s a great pointer. Remember what he did with his finger when he wagged it? … Bill Clinton said, “I did not have sexual relations with that … ” He was pointing. The pointing and the wagging of the finger puts you as this person who’s telling everybody else what to do. Most people want to feel like they’re in a conversation with somebody in some way. Instead of pointing, use your open palm with your hand open extending to them. You point to yourself. Instead of pointing to yourself, use your hand open towards yourself so you don’t seem like you’re any kind of threat to them and you’re not chastising them or scolding them.

Interestingly enough, you can approach this kind of work from the outside-in or the inside-out. There are people who approach it from an outside-in body language perspective primarily. It can be very effective. You can also approach it from an inside-out perspective. We [in our group] tend to focus on the inside-out. Again, as I said, what’s your objective? How are you feeling? How are you thinking? Can you use the technique that the actor knows of, say, “acting as if?”

Scott Harper: This really resonates with me, because many years ago, shortly after I moved from the Midwest to the East Coast New York area, I was in a consumer healthcare company, a big multinational. I became a director of a group, and I wasn’t always always getting the results I wanted. I actually went to somebody that Pam knew −

Pam Harper: We didn’t know you back then, Michael.

Scott Harper: Right; we didn’t know you back then. I said, “This is what’s happening.” He looked at me and he said, “You kind of sound like you don’t expect to be listened to. If you’re coming from the Midwest and now you’re here on the East Coast, you’ve got to talk faster. You’ve got to talk louder. How do you do that without seeming phony? Well, imagine people really want to hear what you have to say.” I worked on that for a few weeks and it really, really made a difference. My group actually became one of the higher performing groups in my division. Yeah, I get it.

Michael Port: Yeah, you’re talking about the technique of acting as if.

Scott Harper: Right.

Pam Harper: As if…

Michael Port: As if. The extreme side that people hear is the “fake it until you make it.” I’m not a big fan of that concept because I think it feels negative. When you’re using your imagination to act as if, then you can actually step into that reality, because your imagination is very powerful and that’s what produces your behavior and, of course, the way you see yourself. You’re not faking anything. You are imagining yourself playing the role you want to play. Then, of course, as a result, what happens? You actually play that role.

Scott Harper: Right.

Pam Harper: Well, you’re in it at that point.

Michael Port: Yeah, you’re in it. Here’s a really simple example just to relate to what you said. You made me think of it when you said that you kind of spoke as if people shouldn’t listen to you or wouldn’t want to listen to you. We had a student in one of our courses who said … He wrote in. He said, “This is the last thing I expected would change or would happen to me as a result of doing this training.” He was specifically referring to voice and speech work. He said, “In seven years of going to Starbucks, they have never once written my name down correctly or pronounced my name correctly; not once. However, after I did the voice training and the speech training, they now get it right every single time.”

Scott Harper: Wow.

Pam Harper: It’s a different way of being perceived. You’re influencing people but you’re being authentic in that sense. You’re bringing out your best self.

Scott Harper: Yes.

Pam Harper: Here’s a question. How do you know when you found your strongest voice for any given situation? You talk a lot about it. I remember when I was at Heroic Public Speaking Live, and we were talking about voice. Say you’re in a negotiation. You want to make sure that it comes across the right way at the right time or, say, you’re giving a presentation for employees, or the board, or whoever it is. You want to know that in this situation, you have your strongest voice. It changes a bit, doesn’t it, from time to time because of what maybe we’re trying to project?

Michael Port: There’s the figurative voice and the literal voice. The figurative voice is your ability to express yourself fully and feel good about yourself. That’s your figurative voice. The literal voice is how you sound. You’re going to use your literal voice differently in different situations. The way that Treb, the fellow whose name is now pronounced properly at Starbucks, is not going to say his name the same way that he now does at Starbucks as he does when he meets a child. He’s going to say his name differently. He’s not going to say Treb when he meets a little child. He’s going to say, “My name is Treb.” You’re going to use your voice differently because you’re talking to someone differently so pacing, timing, rhythm. This is where the internal work comes. This is not just on the outside.

If you’re in this negotiation, and you know that it’s a tense moment, and the people on the other side of the table are a little frustrated, and they’re not really on your team yet, not moving your way, you’re probably not going to want to use a big booming voice that keeps pushing on them. {Your sound engineer is going to kill me now.} It keeps pushing on them, and beating, and say, “Listen. Guys, here’s what we need to do.” You’re not going to speak like that. You’re going to change the way you speak. You’re going to speak a little more softly but you’re not going to whisper. You’re on your on voice still; you’re going to use softer tones.

Pam Harper: Yet, when you’re interviewing somebody, say, you’re interviewing an employee and you want to … A prospective employee, I should say. You want to make sure that you create an environment for this top talent to join your company; you want to come across in a slightly different way. You might say they’re voiced differently.

Michael Port: You may. Each situation is going to be different. Just think about the way that you talk to your lover in bed is probably different than the way you talk to − let’s say if you’re a guy, your buddies from high school.

Scott Harper: Yeah.

Michael Port: Once again, that is role playing.

Pam Harper: That’s true.

Michael Port: We play different roles all the time. Look, when I’m with some of my friends down at the docks, and their language is a little cruder, and they may be a little coarse in the way that they talk, my language is going to change. Now, I’m not going to pretend. I’m not going to put on an accent, and you’d be like, “Yo, what’s up, dude?” I’m not going to talk like this as if that’s really me. My language will get a little more staccato, a little harsh, a little stronger also because I know that if my language is not like that, then they’re going to start needling me. People will treat you the way they want to treat you based on how they see you. If you are projecting a different image, then the way they treat you will change.

Pam Harper: So being mindful of all of these things that we’ve been talking about really comes into play as a very important part of anything we’re doing on a high-stakes basis.

Michael Port: It’s interesting. It’s interesting. People joke about actors not being smart because a lot of them are pretty. I always found that really funny, because the greatest actors in the world are some of the most intelligent people you will ever meet. They are self-aware. If you think about Meryl Streep, or you think about Tom Hanks, if you ever listen to them in interviews, or you think about Dame Judi Dench − if you ever heard them in interviews, they are fascinating and they are so self-aware. The more self-aware you are, the more comfortable you are in many different situations and, of course, in those high-stakes situations.

Pam Harper: Absolutely. Well, we’re going to talk more about how we can immediately become more self-aware. We’re going to take a quick break first, though. When we come back, we’ll talk more with Michael Port, author of Steal the Show. Stay with us.

Scott Harper: You are listening to Growth Igniters Radio with Pam Harper and Scott Harper brought to you by Business Advancement Incorporated. On the web at www.BusinessAdvance.com.

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Pam Harper: Welcome back to Growth Igniters Radio with Pam Harper and Scott Harper. Over the last two segments, Scott and I have been talking with Michael Port, author of Steal the Show, about using the model of acting so we can perform at our best under high-stakes situations. Michael, can you tell us again how people can find you?

Michael Port: Sure, www.heroicpublicspeaking.com is where you’ll find all of our programs and trainings on public speaking and stealtheshow.com is a great place to go if you want to listen to the podcast.

Pam Harper: It is. Of course, you can also find links by going to GrowthIgnitersRadio.com, episode 67 and scroll down. Under resources, you’ll be able to find links also to get over to Michael’s podcast and other kinds of resources.

Let’s get back to the part of the program that I find people telling me is especially useful − which are the three immediately useful ideas. In this case, we’re taking the risks that are required of a winning performance in high-stakes situations. We know what they are. Let’s get started. What would you say is an immediately useful idea, say, for silencing an internal critic?

Michael Port: This is a big one, isn’t it? There are two types of critics. There are external critics and there are internal critics. The external critics are the people who’re in the cheap seats who want to pull other people down in order to lift themselves up. Then there’s the internal critic, the one that says, “I’m not good enough. I don’t know enough. I’ll never be enough.” When those internal critics are loud, we hear the external critics even more. What we need to do first is to silence the internal critic, because then we wouldn’t care that much about the external critics. We’ll just focus on being helpful rather than trying to be good. It is very difficult to be good, but we can always be helpful. If we are helpful, we are perceived as good and it reduces anxiety. It reduces stage fright. It reduces the fears people have around being in the spotlight, because you’re no longer obsessing on yourself on whether or not you’re going to be good or whether or not you’re going to look good. Instead, you’re focusing on helping other people.

Pam Harper: Michael, if we’re talking about something somebody could do as soon as they’re done on the elliptical, or they’re done on the treadmill, or they’re walking off the plane, whatever it is, what would be an action they could take right now? Maybe they’re going to a high-stakes negotiation or an interview.

Michael Port: What they can do right now is every single person they see, try to make them feel better; as simple as that. If I’m in a bad mood and I’m going to the airport − and that’s usually when I’m in a bad mood − what I will do is I will try to make every single person in the line waiting to go through the metal detectors and everybody working at the security checkpoint make them feel better about themselves and their day. Immediately, as soon as I pass through, I feel better, too.

Pam Harper: You have lots of friends on the plane, I bet.

Michael Port: I do. What happens is when you feel better about yourself, you feel more confident, and confidence is essential during these high-stakes situations.

Pam Harper: That’s great. What’s something else, for example, in preparing more for this high-stakes situation? Let’s say, it’s having to do with presenting to the board.

Michael Port: Great. During a high-stake situation, you’re going to want to prepare a lot more than you think you need to prepare. Most people think they know their information well enough so they can go there and wing it. Generally, they leave going, “I could have done better.” Preparation is key. If you’re going in for a presentation from the board and you want to get a yes from them, there are three things they’re going to consider.

Number one, is what you’re suggesting going to work? First thing they consider because it makes sense. Will it be successful? Then if they say, “I don’t think so,” then they don’t listen anymore. It doesn’t matter what you say. If they say, “Yeah, yeah. I think it will be successful,” but it’s still not enough to get a yes because the second question they ask is, “Huh. Well, is it worth my resource? Is it worth my time, my money, my connections?” Whatever it is they need to give you in order for the thing to work. If they say, “Great idea but not really worth my time,” you get a no. If they say, “Yeah, great idea and it’s worth my time,” is it still enough to get a yes? No. It’s not.

The third thing they ask is this, “Well, is this person who’s pitching me this idea, are they able to champion it? Can they actually follow-through?” Lots of people have great ideas. I get pitched things all the time that are great ideas. Then I say, “Hmm. Not really worth my time,” or, “That will be a good one for me. Can the person who’s pitching me this actually follow-through on this? Don’t think so.” Then they get a no.

Pam Harper: If there would be one specific thing that they could do … Certainly it sounds like having every possible resource available to be able to answer the question about whether you can follow-through would be great, but not always possible − Is there a way that they would need to sound differently, perhaps?

Michael Port: Well, I think they need to sound like they are not trying to prove themselves. See, we do often need to demonstrate our credibility, but that’s different than trying to prove ourselves in a way that demonstrates desperation.

Pam Harper: Quiet confidence in this case.

Michael Port: Yeah. It may be quiet confidence. You don’t need a ton of bravado to get a yes. You don’t need to pretend that you have all of the answers. In fact, one of the things that I would suggest people stay away from is using absolutes.

Pam Harper: Absolutely.

Michael Port: “All generalities are false,” including that one. Think about this. If you say, “Listen, everybody does this,” or, “Nobody likes earwax flavored ice cream,” I might think, “I knew this kid in a school named Fritz…”

Michael Port: “Yeah. He used to pick his ears and eat it. I bet he might like earwax ice cream.” All of a sudden, I’m trying to put a hole in your argument when you give me an absolute.

Pam Harper: Right.

Michael Port: When you leave room for alternatives, then I think two things: one, “Huh, okay. Yeah, there is other possibilities but let me consider this one.” Then the second thing I think is, “This is a sophisticated person,” because if you are somebody who can only see the world in one way, that you know this is the way, then I would be nervous about working with you because I rarely think there is one way to do anything. Notice how I said rarely? You may find one way to do something, so this way I’m leaving room in there when it comes to the work we do.

Pam Harper: Michael, I want to also bring up something … I know we have just a little bit of time left. You talk a lot about blocking and rehearsal − literally our stage presence. I’ve been experimenting with that myself in terms of thinking about when you walk into a room, any room, how you’re going to choose where you sit. It’s something that we do intuitively but you’re talking about making it a conscious choice. Can you tell me a little more? Tell us a little more about that, just quickly.

Michael Port: Yeah. Let’s use a really simple real life example that most everybody has experienced. When you go into a room to listen to a lecture, there are seats, and you can choose to sit in the back, or you can choose to sit in the front, or somewhere in the middle. You can choose in an aisle. You can choose to sit by yourself. You can choose to go sit by somebody else. Well, your choice tells me a lot about you. Your choice tells me a lot about you. If you’re the one sitting in the back seat not making a full commitment, it tells me a lot about you. If you’re the person who comes down right to the front, big smile on your face, makes a big commitment − you’re going to get a lot more out of that situation. That’s an everyday situation. Not only are you telling the world something about yourself, you are also having a different experience based on just where you sit.

Pam Harper: True. If you are actually, say, interviewing somebody for a top spot in your company, and you choose to go over to the round table in your office instead of just sitting at your desk, because I’ve seen people who will just do that, it sends a different message.

Michael Port: It sure does. It makes a significant difference. Let’s say you’re on stage. Most people, when they give a presentation, they think about what they’re going to say and that’s about it. Then they go up on stage and they’ve got nervous energy. They wander around, pace back and forth.

Pam Harper: Sure. We’ve seen that.

Michael Port: We’ve seen that. I get it, because you haven’t done any rehearsal. Why haven’t you done any rehearsal? Because you’ve never learned to. It’s not something you were taught in school. I know how to rehearse because I was an actor. That’s what we did. We have a very specific seven-step process for rehearsal, and it’s the same process that actors go through when they do plays, and film, and TV, et cetera. When you are well prepared, you are, of course, less anxious because you reduce anxiety when you feel like you know what you are doing − number one. Number two, when you are more prepared, you can actually be more spontaneous because preparation when it meets improvisation produces spontaneity. You may have said the same thing 500 times, but to the audience, it sounds like the first time you’re saying it.

Pam Harper: That’s very true. The time has been flying by here. Do you have some final thoughts on the topic of stealing the show, especially in the high-stakes situations that you can leave us with?

Michael Port: I do. I do. I think play with these ideas. You don’t have to know all the answers. You don’t have to get all of it right away. Sometimes I tell people, “Listen, try not to learn anything when I’m teaching this.” Sometimes we feel like if we don’t get it right away, there’s something wrong with us. “He can do it but I can’t do it; she can do it but I can’t do it.” Let it wash over you. Absorb it; play with it. That’s what the performer does. We are always trying different things because we don’t get married to the immediate result.

That’s what − in large part − rehearsal is about. You usually suck during rehearsal. That’s the point of rehearsal. You try something. It works. You keep it. You try something. It doesn’t, you let it go.

Pam Harper: Keeping in mind that’s it’s a process. It’s not an event. You’re never going to really quite be there. You’re always going to keep having to do something different, right?

Michael Port: Yeah. You’re never done. Some people don’t like that.

Pam Harper: Never done.

Michael Port: Some people just want to be perfect and done. That is just not generally how it works.

Pam Harper: Yes, that’s definitely true. Well, Michael, thank you again so much for being our guest today in Growth Igniters Radio.

Michael Port: You’re welcome. It’s my pleasure. Thank you for inviting me.

Scott Harper: Sure, Michael. Thanks to you, and thanks to you out there for listening to Growth Igniters Radio with Pam Harper and Scott Harper.

Pam Harper: Until next time. This is Pam Harper…

Scott Harper: And Scott Harper…

Pam Harper: Wishing you continued success, and leaving you with this question to think about and most importantly to act upon:

Scott Harper: What can I do today to improve my own performance as a leader so I can steal the show in any high-stakes situation?